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Politics

Published on May 6th, 2016 | by Flipside

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Scottish Labour Defeated by Scottish Labour Tribute Act

Photo credit: (C) A camera

In a twist of fate so ridiculous it made Alex Salmond’s face show an emotion other than smugness, Scottish Labour was defeated in the Scottish Parliament elections by its own tribute act.

The Scottish Labour If Parliament is in a Kerfuffle (NOT that one!), also known as SLIPK(NOT), was formed in 1969 after Yoko Ono split up the original Scottish Labour line-up. Their original slogan reflected their aims of “progressive socialist politics”, not to be confused with The Australian Scottish Labour Experience who stood for “progressive socialist rock”.

SLIPK(NOT) leader and part-time mermaid Nicola Sturgeon spoke exclusively to Flipside. Well, she spoke to a lot of press in the same room, but she used our microphone, so take that Tab!

“Fuck me, we did alright, didn’t we?!” said Sturgeon in between pulling on party poppers. “This is step one in the masterplan leading up to another referendum. Next time, we’re going to take the nice bits of Durham and Leicester too. Just the football team though. We have to enter the 2018 World Cup somehow.”

Meanwhile residents of Loch Long have reportedly heard the sounds of Gordon Brown sobbing in the local caves. It is being hailed as a new tourist attraction.

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