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Published on March 15th, 2017 | by Flipside

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Statue of Liberty to Return to France

In another embarrassing twist for the current US administration, the Statue of Liberty announced today that she will soon be setting sail to go back to France.

For a crowd of people on Ellis Island not seen since the heydays of US immigration when, among others, the sitting president’s parents found their way into the land of opportunities, Lady Liberty confirmed that, since she no longer represents any of the core values held by America today, she feels she, too, has outstayed her welcome. ‘Being a foreigner myself it was always heartwarming to see those thousands of people land on these shores, knowing they were welcome and free to pursue a better future in this beautiful country,’ she said to the assembled press who seemed eager to receive the news first hand rather than through the @POTUS handle. ‘But where I kept my dignity for the past 130 years, unfortunately the same can’t be said for America.’ The sculpture admitted that things have been bleak for a while, but that recent political events were the final drop. ‘It was not until they handed the power to that clementine cunt, pardon my French, that things really went tits up,’ she stated. ‘And since the present USA has now fully returned to it’s dark past, it’s time for this present from a more optimistic past to leave and meet her makers. After all, the French invented the whole ‘Liberté, Egalité, Fraternité’ thing, so if I’d be welcome anywhere, it would be there.’

When finally asked why she did not simply use the nuclear warhead in her crown to wipe out Trump Tower or the White House, the symbol of what used to be great about the US confessed she had considered this, but had changed her mind when she realised that the credit would possible have gone to some random islamists instead.

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