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Politics

Published on October 18th, 2016 | by Flipside

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Sabbs reported missing, students unsure if they exist

Students were left shocked and bewildered throughout Edinburgh this week after no Sabbatical officers were elected in the EUSA by-elections, leaving the positions unfilled for the 5th week in a row.

Speaking to Flipside, ordinary student Kyle McDaveyface said, “I really don’t know what happened. I went onto MyEd in order to vote, but there were no options to vote for the Sabbatical officers. There haven’t been any sarky as fuck Tab articles, or biting hot takes on their Big Cheese policy in The Student Newspaper’s Comment section so I just assumed that they just didn’t exist and that we needed to vote for new ones”.

After being prompted by multiple offers of beef jerky and Tropical VKs, EUSA staff have promised Flipside that the Sabbs do in fact exist, but they have just succeeded in “not fucking up so far”.

The next student council is on the 27th of October. We can’t wait.

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