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Commentary

Published on March 21st, 2017 | by Flipside

0

Student Already Looking Forward To Retirement They’re Never Going To Have

Probably the most common response to the socially compulsory question of ‘How are you doing’, right now must be ‘I’m tired’. Its that time of year, everyone is run down and a bit stressed, but not quite with the adrenaline pick me up of exam season, nor the celebratory feeling of sitting and finishing exams, essays are pretty anti-climatic, like going ice-skating, or any of Katy Perry’s music.

 

This empty-fuel feeling has caused frazzled 3rd year History Student Alex Levenson has already started fantasizing about his retirement and the home he’s definitely going to be able to own: ‘I’m just done to be honest. I look at my one set of grandparents who are still alive and they seem to have it great. They went on a fucking cruise last month and complained there were too many prawns on the menu. I’ve lost all enthusiasm for anything that’s not a bagel right now. I sat down yesterday in front of my laptop, totally prepared to dig into some reading on 1960’s American Economics, but I ended up just playing Tetris for two hours and fifteen minutes. Who and I?’

 

Alex’s main savings come from ‘cool 50 pence’s that will definitely increase in value, especially the Beatrix Potter ones’.

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