Published on October 14th, 2014 | by Flipside0
Student becomes capitalist after attending careers fair
An Edinburgh student has been converted from Marxism after last week’s Careers Fair.
Third year Classics student Spencer Gladbottom said, “Up until now I have always self-identified politically as a member of the ‘far left’ and a Marxist.”
“However, after being told by men from Barclays, HSBC, RBS, Standard Life, and the rest of the FTSE 100, that I could get a job despite my qualifications and skills being functionally out of date two millennia ago, I had serious doubts about my principles and almost immediately adopted the Protestant work ethic.”
Gladbottom continued, “Looking back I’m not sure why this revelation came as such a surprise. Both my father and grandfather did Classics at uni as well, and they ended up in corporate finance regardless.”
“This was the first time I had bothered to go to the Careers Fair, and I wish I’d had this realisation earlier. If I had, I feel last summer’s internship with the World Trade Organisation would have seemed much more fulfilling and relevant to my career, and not just a pain to have to commute to Geneva every week from London.”
University of Edinburgh Vice-Chancellor Sir Timothy O’Shea when asked to comment said, “I am also a capitalist.”