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Entertainment

Published on October 14th, 2014 | by Flipside

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Student becomes capitalist after attending careers fair

An Edinburgh student has been converted from Marxism after last week’s Careers Fair.

Third year Classics student Spencer Gladbottom said, “Up until now I have always self-identified politically as a member of the ‘far left’ and a Marxist.”

“However, after being told by men from Barclays, HSBC, RBS, Standard Life, and the rest of the FTSE 100, that I could get a job despite my qualifications and skills being functionally out of date two millennia ago, I had serious doubts about my principles and almost immediately adopted the Protestant work ethic.”

Gladbottom continued, “Looking back I’m not sure why this revelation came as such a surprise. Both my father and grandfather did Classics at uni as well, and they ended up in corporate finance regardless.”

“This was the first time I had bothered to go to the Careers Fair, and I wish I’d had this realisation earlier. If I had, I feel last summer’s internship with the World Trade Organisation would have seemed much more fulfilling and relevant to my career, and not just a pain to have to commute to Geneva every week from London.”

University of Edinburgh Vice-Chancellor Sir Timothy O’Shea when asked to comment said, “I am also a capitalist.”

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