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Published on May 27th, 2016 | by Flipside

0

Student Loan Interest Repayment Rates Rise To ‘Fuck You, Be Poor Forever’

 

After the government privatised Student Loan repayments, and sold them to another company, Students are now being faced with ‘haha, eat shit, you’ll never own property or amount to anything’ levels of interest repayment.

Students across the country who accidentally accepted loans while being totally lied to now face the very real possibility of giving the government their shoes, hair and personal possessions in order to keep up with the payments.

They have risen by over you-are-damned-to-a-life-of-debt-and-poverty-punctuated-by-the-odd-moment-of-joy-only-to-immediately-return-to-a-state-of-misery-and-financial-insecurity% APR in the last year, and could rise again, after the recent white paper confirming that fees could go beyond the current £9k a year.

When pushed for a comment, Chancellor George Osborne admitted ‘It’s a great old lark being Chancellor, but desicions-wise I’m pretty much just making this all up as I go along. I actually have no idea what I’m doing here. Never have, probably never will.’

 

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