Published on December 15th, 2016 | by Flipside0
‘Student Needs Starbucks Coffee More Than Family Needs Food
A 2nd year student has explained they are unable to donate to a local food bank collection as they have a two-hour exam tomorrow and they are ‘noooot ready for it at all and need the caffeine so they can’t afford it’. This is despite having had two clear weeks to prepare for it, a tin of beans costing less than 50p, and other establishments charging far less for coffee (they also pay tax).
Psychology student, and one-time subscriber the Bollocks to Poverty mailing list and ‘Sassy Sscialist Meme’s’, Tamara Beckwith-Heath said, ‘OMG I am so not ready for this. I’ve just been soo tired this week, and haven’t recovered from skiing last week in Alpe d’Huez. This Eggnog Latte is the only thing getting me through the afternoon. You can’t imagine how difficult and stressful today has been for me. God, I can’t wait till I get a mulled wine with a shot of cherry schnapps at the Christmas market tonight.’
Beckwith-Heath was later overheard at the market telling her friends that her film of the year is I, Daniel Blake.
Don’t be a dick like Tamara, do just one thing your mother would be proud of, just one. For only a couple pounds you can chip away at your parents’ disappointment!