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Published on April 26th, 2016 | by Flipside

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Student Ready to Blame Inevitable Exam Failure on Library Protest

3rd Year English Literature student J.K. Bronte is already preparing to blame failure in her upcoming exams on the peaceful sit-in protest against the government’s ‘Prevent’ legislation, which is currently taking place at the university’s main library.

Bronte, who has so far only managed to actually make it to the university library on one occasion in the past two weeks, has already pre-filled in her special circumstances form, and posted numerous Facebook statuses about how, although it’s ‘great students can protest’ against legislation that will damage civil liberties across the UK, they’ve chosen a really bad time and place to this at the start of her exam period.

“I planned to go the Library Helpdesk this morning at 8am to get out a book, and with the sit-in occurring in the middle of the foyer, I would be forced to take around seven extra steps to maneuver around them” Bronte said. “I imagine this would take me around six seconds. In my revision plan, I am scheduled to memorize quotes from four Shakespeare texts and write two practice essays in this time, this won’t be possible, and I think this outlines just how selfish the protestors are being.”

“It’s excellent that students can protest, but maybe they could do it in the Hugh Robson Basement, preferably in June or July. Whatever leads to them being noticed least maybe?”

At the time of writing, Bronte was planning a 2000-word Comment piece to submit to The Student, outlining exactly how badly the ‘protestors’ were affecting her revision and exam preparation.

 

Images: Thurston Smalley

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