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Published on March 27th, 2017 | by Flipside

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Sturgeon to May: ‘Come Ahead, Square Go’

Ahead of today’s meeting between Theresa May and Nicola Sturgeon, Scotland’s First Minister has assured Ms May that she will not be brushed aside when it comes to a second referendum on Scottish independence

Speaking at Bute house, the Scottish First Minister responded,

‘You know me, I’m not the sort of cunt that goes looking for trouble, but she can have the fat end of a pool cue in her pus anytime she likes it!’

Sources close to the First Minister have also assured Downing Street if Ms Sturgeon finds the outcome of todays’ meeting unsatisfactory, she is quite prepared to make her way to St Andrews Square Bus Station. Travelling via the night bus to London, she will proceed to drink a bottle of Thunderbird, whilst berating John Swinney for having ‘forgot the cairds’, and subsequently labelling him a ‘doss cunt’.

Flipside has since contacted the Prime Minister’s office for comment, but they hung up when they heard the Scottish accent.

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