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Local

Published on September 25th, 2014 | by Flipside

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The Big Cheese underage: Potterrow club night found to be just 15 years old

In the midst of its fifteenth birthday celebrations last weekend, a huge furor has surrounded popular Potterrow extravaganza The Big Cheese, after media coverage alerted police to the fact that the club night was underage.

This most likely means that The Big Cheese will be unable to drink, or more importantly serve alcohol.

In reaction to the announcements, EUSA Vice President Services Tasha Boardman said: “The Big Cheese won’t be closed down fully, it will just not be given a blue wristband on entry to Potterrow, meaning that technically it can’t serve or consume alcohol.”

Boardman added: “Of course, what this actually means is that it will just have to get other, over-age night clubs around the city to get alcohol for it.”

Further investigation by Police Scotland into city club nights revealed that most were underage; Cav’s ‘Broke’ was just nine, Liquid’s Rooms’ ‘Propaganda’ six, and WhyNot’s ‘Flare’ barely one. The Hive’s ‘Bubblegum Saturdays’ was found to be 48, which although not illegal, was flagged as “a bit creepy”, and “for monitoring” in an official report.

A source from Police Scotland said: “Because of its name – The Big Cheese – we were initially fooled into thinking that the clubnight served up mozzarella and cheddar based meals along with alcohol. This would have been ok, because according to the 2012 Licensing Scotland Act, those aged fourteen and over can possess alcohol if they order food with it.”

After seeing our report’s disbelief at this response, a second source added: “Yes, it’s a bit of a grey area.”

Ex-EUSA President Hugh Murdoch said: “Why the fuck are you still asking me for quotes?”

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