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Politics

Published on January 20th, 2015 | by Flipside

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‘The Queen is a Muslim’, claims Farage

Nigel Farage has claimed that the British Queen is a Muslim in an interview with Fox News. Asked for his comments in the aftermath of the Charlie Hebdo terror attacks, Farage further claimed that “Muslim ghettos” exist in major cities across Europe, with Sharia Law law filling the vacuum of the breakdown of law and order.

Farage was asked by Fox’s Special Correspondent, Nick Griffin, how he knew Her Royal Britannic Majesty, head of the Church of England, and regular mass-goer was in reality “a bearded Muslim, whose name is Ahmed.”

“Well,” Mr Farage replied, “We were all down the local writing our manifesto and it just hit us. And then George got out a fiver and, well, I just don’t know how we didn’t notice it before.”

Nick Griffin called the evidence “compelling”.

Average UKIP Voter, 45 year old Henry Racistly said, “If our Lord and Saviour Nigel H. Farage says it’s true, then the Queen is indeed a Muslim.”

Buckingham Palace has issued a strongly worded statement in response to the allegations, saying, “Mr Farage is fucking mental”.

Although Farage’s accusations gathered support amongst UKIP’s Twitter Attack Trolls (TwATs), critics of the theory have pointed out that the Duke of Edinburgh is too racist to have married the Queen if she were indeed Muslim.

However, Nigel Farage called on David Icke for support saying, “I’ve been a great fan of Mr Icke for many years and think UKIP’s findings add further credence to his ‘lizard-people’ conspiracy.”

Mr Icke has in turn been recorded stating, “Oh God, I don’t want to be associated with that man.”

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