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Published on October 26th, 2016 | by Flipside

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The Student: ‘Fuck Mother Earth, We’ll Never Go Paperless’

EDINBURGH – The Student Newspaper, one of the oldest Student newspapers in the UK, continues to blatantly fuck over mother earth with their weekly dump of unread paper. In a middle finger to environmental commitment, the student run publication publishes several million pages each week despite its depressingly low readership. To add insult to injury they guarantee at least one article shaming its readership for their consumptive habits. The hypocrisy is astounding in its depth and pretentiousness.  

Meanwhile the sister student media have all sworn commitment to environmental conservation. Freshair Radio went paperless in 2005. The garbage-fire of student media, The Tab, has been exclusively online since 2009. Even The Independent, the Student’s favourite plagiarism source, went paperless in the past three years.  And of course, Earth’s Most Reliable Journalism hole, Edinburgh Flipside, has been paperless since it’s conception *self-five*

We contacted the editor of the Student, Satan, for a statement on the situation. He declined to comment. Not since Trump has there ever been such a disgusting relationship between the media and the public.

If you’d like to join the ‘Go Paperless for fuck’s sake’ campaign you could start a petition or something. 

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