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Commentary

Published on November 23rd, 2015 | by Flipside

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The Sun Claims ‘6 in Every 5 Muslims is an Alien from the film ‘Alien’’

In an act of extreme, blatant xenophobia, yesterday morning The Sun ‘newspaper’ ran with the front page that 6 in every 5 Muslims is in fact an Alien – specifically the hostile, murderous endoparasitoid Xenomorph aliens from ‘Alien’, and subsequent films in the Alien Franchise.

The Sun came under vicious attack from everyone except their readers, 97% of whom agreed in an online poll that 6 in 5 was ‘probably quite a good estimation maybe’.

We spoke to long-time Sun reader Ray Cyste, who had this to say:

“I always thought there something funny about those Islams, but I never thought that 120% of them would be members of a destructive but fictional Xenomorph species! It just goes to show you the lies spread by the left wing media”

“I dunno how they got there from the desolate planetoid seen in the films, but it says a lot about our immigration policy.  We need to close our borders right now. They come here, doing our jobs, widening our cultural sphere, contributing to our economy and expecting us to just ‘”accept” the fact they’re different, and I’m not having any of it” Ray continued. “I loved the Alien films, but I never realised they was a documentary about Muslimism”

We tried to contact The Sun for comment, but sadly just this morning, an alien burst out of their chief editor’s chest and devoured all before him. 98% of Sun readers agreed this was coincidence, and refused to acknowledge the possibility of irony.

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