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Commentary

Published on February 22nd, 2017 | by Flipside

0

‘Therapets’ To Replace Dogs with Lizards

 

In a bid to keep things fresh and groovy, the much loved ‘Therapets’ workshop has announced plans to replace all dogs with lizards. For a little while now students, missing their dogs, affection and tactile contact due to paying to be incredibly stressed out by higher education and personal relationships, have sought solace in the world of furry doggos. However, now due to ground breaking research about the stress-busting eye contact of lizards and petting their lithe bodies, Therapets have decided to pursue a more cold-blooded approach.

 

A spokesperson from ‘Therapets’ had this to say: ‘I love a good dog as the next person. A picture of a dog and I is a consistently appreciated picture on my Instagram account. However we’ve decided to give the reptiles a chance, they surprisingly soft, and the novelty of holding a lizard really makes you stop that intense feeling of existential dread. Plus they’re a lot quieter and easier to transport. We have a lizard man now and don’t have to wander round the Meadows stealing dogs to be pawed at by students for a few hours then releasing them back.”

 

I for one can’t wait to lock eyes with a lizard

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