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Published on December 16th, 2015 | by Flipside

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Tim Peake Takes Twin Peaks For a Spin In Six Sleek Cheek-Slimming Weeks

British astronaut Tim Peake declared his love for David Lynch’s iconic show, saying it helped him lose several kilograms in a six-week exercise program before his mission, weight-loss that he said was particularly noticeable on his newly-jagged cheekbones.

“I just got really into David Lynch’s unflinching pinch of a show. I found the storylines so engrossing that I barely noticed the fact I was pumping iron left-right-and-centre, and also about to go into space. Spin classes are a doddle when you’ve got such convincing, three-dimensional characters to focus on.”

When asked what he planned to do once at the International Space Station, other than maintaining his razor sharp jaw-line, Peake was candid in his response: “Probably a bunch of research and shit, right? I reckon they run a fairly tight ship up there. I just hope they’ve got Netflix. Apparently Fargo – no the TV series – …yeah there’s a TV series now. Anyway apparently it’s great so I’d quite like to watch that. Love a bit of Netflix…and chill.”

Last Flipside checked on Tim, he was safe and sound on the ISS, watching The Wire, and pissed that he hadn’t discovered it earlier.

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