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Published on January 10th, 2017 | by Flipside

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UN Shocks Absolutely Nobody By Electing Another White Male As Secretary General

Yet another white straight European male has been elected to a position of power. This has shocked a grand total of nobody. The new Secretary General of the United Nations is Antonio Guterres. Most people have been shocked to learn that the United Nations had been holding elections and that Morgan Freeman would no longer be running the institution.

 

The former President of Portugal has vowed to keep things all running the same at the institution with a refreshing ‘if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it’ attitude. His attitude is akin to what his election symbolises for the direction of the UN: stagnancy. Men have, after all, competently led the UN into its 71st year of incompetency. This not to doubt Antonio Guterres’ competency, of course, because as a white straight European male that can be taken for granted.

 

The UN Security Council is rumoured to have thought about nominating a woman but decided against it on the consideration that it might raise people’s expectations that the organisation could achieve more than it does. It wouldn’t want to be misperceived as a positive symbol of social progress or equality.

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