SK8R LIFE INSURANCE (SK8) ✖ STOCK SUSPENDED
EDINBURGH UNIVERSITY STUDENTS ASSOCIATION (EUSA) ▼-2005.21
ALEX SALMOND’S HAIR ▼ 230.067
CONSERVATIVE & UNIONIST NATIONAL TWEED CO (CUNT) ▲69.99
LADS, INC (LAD)▲1783.44
NATIONAL ASSOCIATION ZOCIALIST, INC (NAZI)▼2.48
BEDLAM THEATRE GROUP (BT) ▲ 5.74
EDINBURGH UNIVERSITY CREDIBILITY (UC) ▼ 1.000567
PETER HIGG’S SWAG ($G) ▲∞
BOTECO (BOT) ▲ 456.34
AVERAGE AGE IN TEVIOT (OLD) ▲ 67.45
PANDA CHILDCARE UK PLC (PCU) ✖ STOCK SUSPENDED
MILEY CYRUS EDINBURGH FAN CLUB (TWERK)▲ 42.67
DIRECTION OF NOSES UPON MENTION OF EDINBURGH NAPIER (NOZ) ▲ 90.00
EXAM PERFORMANCE IN MCEWAN HALL (STARE) ▼ 11.000567
TEVIOT CHIPS (SHIT)▼ 56.23

Local

Published on November 10th, 2013 | by Flipside

0

University in G4S library security U-turn

BREAKING NEWS – Heavy handed tactics of library security staff lead to increasing calls among students for the reinstatement of G4S.

Allegations of the excessive use of force employed by university library security staff emerged yesterday following the violent manhandling of a 2nd year student, who, with blatant disregard to her fellow peers, was quietly whispering to a friend on the 4th floor. Luckily, no one on the 4th floor was working at the time with the entire incident caught on camera and uploaded to Facebook before it had even finished.

The library security staff are entrusted with the safety of university students, but their recent abuse of power would suggest they have gone beyond their remit, which normally includes staring at the front door, counting students with loud tally counters and clearing the 5th floor three hours before the rest of the library closes.

The increased spotlight on the library security staff comes at a time when their recent actions have been called into question after it was revealed that they had mistakenly hospitalised a Brazilian exchange student who, as it was later revealed, did not have a reserve book in his backpack despite fitting the racial profile.

Despite the controversial nature of the decision to revert back to G4S, support for the switch is almost unanimous across campus with even the Edinburgh University Students for Justice in Palestine (SJP) signalling their desire to reinstate G4S. Speaking on behalf of SJP, someone wearing a Keffiyeh commented, “We are fully aware of the involvement of G4S in settlements in the West Bank but quite frankly we’re more than willing to look the other way in order to tackle what we see as an even bigger problem than Israel.”

By no means taking their views as representative of the student body, others were asked for a more balanced opinion, with one inebriated 1st year History student seemingly unable to avoid the standard comparison with Hitler, remarking, “I think it’s about time something was done. It’s sort of like Nazi Germany all over again.”

Head of Library Security, Richard Bronson, was unavailable for comment as he was still high on his power trip.

Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterShare on RedditEmail this to someone

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,


About the Author



Comments are closed.

Back to Top ↑