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Local

Published on April 24th, 2014 | by Flipside

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University of Edinburgh to be renamed following partnership with Starbucks

In a landmark move, the University of Edinburgh has formally announced a new “special relationship” with Starbucks Coffee.

Flipside can exclusively reveal, from documents obtained through a freedom of information request, that in exchange for “loads of cash for the University and free Americanos for angry lecturers” the University will be re-branded as ‘Edinburgh Starbucks University’.

As part of the reimaging to bring the University into the third millennium, it is believed the traditional logo will also be replaced with that of the Starbucks corporation, with plans under way for the Library Café to be subsumed into the chain. From next year University Student Cards are also to be made compatible with the Starbucks rewards card system, to help new freshers find their feet when they first come to Edinburgh.

Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz said, “I’m delighted for Starbucks and for Edinburgh. With almost 21,000 study centres worldwide, Starbucks’ partnership with a global institution such as Edinburgh University is a natural one. For many years Starbucks has already been a key player in the University’s study abroad scheme.”

Surveys carried out before the announcement showed that up to 90% of students at the University study in Starbucks every day.

The partnership has been highly politicised, provoking strong reactions from Edinburgh’s student body.

Max Crema, Campaigns Officer on Edinburgh University Socialist Society’s Central Committee, said, “Personally, I am disgusted by this deal. I always preferred Moët to latte.”

American President-elect Briana Pagoda said, “I believe I am disappointed. Edinburgh students chose not to go to St Andrews for a reason.”

University Vice-Chancellor Sir Timothy O’Shea has responded to criticism claiming, “The University having a double-barrelled name is nothing new. Just look at institutions such as Edinburgh Napier and Nottingham Trent, or even many of our own students.”

This article may have been written in a Starbucks.

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