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Entertainment

Published on May 9th, 2016 | by Flipside

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Edinburgh Student Left move to boycott the Avengers

Following the worldwide release of ‘Captain America: Civil War’ in cinemas across the UK, the Edinburgh Student Left has released a statement condemning The Avengers for their “wanton aggression against peace loving nations” and will bring forward a motion to boycott the Avengers at the next student council.

Speaking to Flipside, Edinburgh Left spokesperson Tom Marsters-Prat said “Our stand against imperialist fascism extends to all boundaries of existence and The Avengers are not exempt from this”.

“The Avengers were clearly an invading force that overthrew a peace loving nation for nothing more than their own selfish, neo-liberal goals. Hydra were merely seeking to use the power of Loki’s Sceptre in order to provide a clean, safe renewable energy source for the people of Sokovia. Aside from one isolated incidence of Elizabeth Olsen in a dodgy Russian accent, there is no proof whatsoever of Hydra trying to use it as a global superweapon.”

When Flipside suggested to Marsters-Prat that Hydra were actually a Nazi Death Cult and not the tree-hugging hippies that he had previously claimed, he shrugged before saying “That’s probably America’s fault somehow”.

In a comment to Flipside, EUSA President Jeremy Ronny-Tatum said, “We’ve always said that the Student Left lives in a fantasy world, this just proves it”.

Flipside attempted to contact Marvel for a comment, but they refused to provide one unless we granted Stan Lee a gratuitous cameo in one of our articles.

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