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Local

Published on February 4th, 2016 | by Flipside

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Woman with large knife really sad Roosh V isn’t going to visit.

Breaking News: Following Roosh V cancelling his worldwide men’s rights events, a local Edinburgh woman with a really big knife has been left feeling gutted.

Roosh V, the self-proclaimed pick up artist and universally proclaimed literal bag of shit, had been planning events advocating all kinds of bonkers, sexist, abominable bullshit, before deciding that it was not safe for his supporters to attend these pro rape-rallies, in an irony-defining twist

The news of the cancellations has greatly disappointed Jean Kelly, local gardener and puppy enthusiast. Whilst still caressing the massive knife, Jean commented:

“It is just a shame really, I just wanted to have a nice, reasoned chat with him about his opinions towards women and sexual consent. Nothing untoward, just a nice reasonable chat. I have been sharpening this knife since the events were announced…even looking at it the wrong way can draw blood. But hey-ho wasn’t to be. I am not normally a violent person, but was willing to make an exception for such a special case”

Jean told Flipside that she can only live on in the hope that he will one day visit, so they can have a ‘little chat’ as she had bought the really rather massive knife specially for the occasion, and would hate for it to go to waste.

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