Published on October 6th, 2016 | by Flipside0
Everyone in the Library Looks Better Than You
EDINBURGH – A new survey has revealed that you are the worst looking person in the library. Everyone is better dressed than you, and your outfit today depresses the already frayed folks on the fifth floor.
The poll was conducted by the student services in attempt to find out who the best dressed in the library is (it’s Megan Lu on floor three, congrats Megan you can collect your cash prize). However the data also uncovered you’re the most poorly dressed in the entire building. Bottom percentile, like your look is truely devastating.
‘It actually skews the curve,’ the head sartorialist told Flipside. ‘Your crappy hair/sweater/trainers actually brings down the overall attractiveness of the university. It’s probably why the University rankings dropped. Maybe if you put a modicum of effort in, your appearance wouldn’t be so offensive to anyone with sight.’