SK8R LIFE INSURANCE (SK8) ✖ STOCK SUSPENDED
EDINBURGH UNIVERSITY STUDENTS ASSOCIATION (EUSA) ▼-2005.21
ALEX SALMOND’S HAIR ▼ 230.067
CONSERVATIVE & UNIONIST NATIONAL TWEED CO (CUNT) ▲69.99
LADS, INC (LAD)▲1783.44
NATIONAL ASSOCIATION ZOCIALIST, INC (NAZI)▼2.48
BEDLAM THEATRE GROUP (BT) ▲ 5.74
EDINBURGH UNIVERSITY CREDIBILITY (UC) ▼ 1.000567
PETER HIGG’S SWAG ($G) ▲∞
BOTECO (BOT) ▲ 456.34
AVERAGE AGE IN TEVIOT (OLD) ▲ 67.45
PANDA CHILDCARE UK PLC (PCU) ✖ STOCK SUSPENDED
MILEY CYRUS EDINBURGH FAN CLUB (TWERK)▲ 42.67
DIRECTION OF NOSES UPON MENTION OF EDINBURGH NAPIER (NOZ) ▲ 90.00
EXAM PERFORMANCE IN MCEWAN HALL (STARE) ▼ 11.000567
TEVIOT CHIPS (SHIT)▼ 56.23

Commentary

Published on October 6th, 2016 | by Flipside

0

Everyone in the Library Looks Better Than You

EDINBURGH – A new survey has revealed that you are  the worst looking person in the library. Everyone is better dressed than you, and your outfit today depresses the already frayed folks on the fifth floor.

The poll was conducted by the student services in attempt to find out who the best dressed in the library is (it’s Megan Lu on floor three, congrats Megan you can collect your cash prize). However the data also uncovered you’re the most poorly dressed in the entire building. Bottom percentile, like your look is truely devastating.

‘It actually skews the curve,’ the head sartorialist told Flipside. ‘Your crappy hair/sweater/trainers actually brings down the overall attractiveness of the university. It’s probably why the University rankings dropped. Maybe if you put a modicum of effort in, your appearance wouldn’t be so offensive to anyone with sight.’

Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterShare on RedditEmail this to someone

Tags: , , , , ,


About the Author



Comments are closed.

Back to Top ↑