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Commentary

Published on April 21st, 2016 | by Flipside

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Zac Goldsmith to Rename London ‘Ethnicland’ If He Wins Mayoral Election

 

Pansexual, multilingual twatbag Zac Goldsmith has promised to rename the capital if he is elected mayor, claiming that the name ‘Ethnicland’ far better reflects the city’s diverse cultural heritage.

The Eton-educated pound-shop Boris Johnson was clear about his vision for London: ‘I love this place, and I love the people in it. I love the inky blacks, the light blacks, the white blacks, the dark browns, the medium browns, the pastel browns, the 28% cocoas, the bright yellows and the ochres… I think that’s everyone. I speak all their languages – Hingi, Mandegal, Punjabloop and Spanfrish. Can Sadiq do that? No, he’s too busy being a terrorist. I will be a mayor for all Ethniclanders, and we will be one community, with me as leader. Yes, I’m white and hideously rich, but that doesn’t mean you have to be as well.’

‘God I can’t believe I had to do that awful song. Is that what the immigrants like these days? They must be fucking stupid. SHIT, I’m not still on record, am I?’ Goldsmith concluded.

 

 

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